Ludicrous Laws

  • A United States federal law makes it illegal to issue a fake Weather Bureau forecast. We take out weather seriously!
  • In Arkansas no person shall sound the horn on a vehicle at any place where cold drinks or sandwiches are served after 9 P.M. No scaring the wait staff!
  • In California, women may not drive in a house coat. Muumuus are more freeing anyway.
  • A state law in Illinois requires that a man's female companion shall call him "master" while out on a date. The law does not apply to married couples. Or to any guy who ever wants to date in this lifetime.
  • In Ottumwa Iowa, It is illegal for any man, within the corporate city limits, to wink at any female with whom he is "unacquainted." Know before you wink!
  • Servers are forbidden to serve wine in teacups in Topeka, Kansas. It's giant goblets or nothing!
  • In Baltimore, MD It is illegal to take a lion to the movies. But what about the Theater?
  • In Nebraska, it's not legal for a tavern owner to serve beer unless a nice kettle of soup is also brewing. Beer and a bisque Happy Hours!
  • In Reno, It is unlawful for any person to carry on, conduct or maintain any marathon dancing or marathon walking. Did they not watch Footloose? Those kids will always find a way.
  • In New York it is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun. Does that mean Dodgeball is illegal? Someone get the ADAA on the horn!
  • In Staten Island, you may only water your lawn if the hose is held in your hand. Sprinklers are for lazy people.
  • In New York City women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business. There's even a topless book club in Brooklyn.
  • It is illegal in North Carolina to hold more than two sessions of bingo per week, and those sessions may not exceed 5 hours each session. B-I-N-G…NO.
  • In Oklahoma it Is Illegal to have a sleeping donkey in your bathtub after 7 P.M. So bathe your donkeys early!
  • A man can’t go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match in Carmel, California. So the Fashion Police does exist!
  • In West Virginia, state code deems it unlawful for any person to have in his possession or to display any red or black flag. But what if they're Bulls fans?
  • The serving of colored oleomargarine or margarine at a public eating place as a substitute for table butter is prohibited unless it is ordered by the customer in Wisconsin. I can believe it's butter!
  • In Alabama you may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time. Front pockets… no problem!
  • It is unlawful to wear women’s pumps with sharp, high heels in Alabama. Someone's seen Single White Female a few times, perhaps?
  • In Alaska It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane. But what if he's wearing a parachute?
  • It is a felony to steal more than $1000 of grease in North Carolina. We don't even want to know why someone would need that much grease.
  • In Florida if an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle. Sorry Dumbo.
  • Throwing missiles at cars is illegal in Alamosa, Colorado. They don’t want you straining your arm, missiles are heavy!
  • In Maricopa County Arizona no more than six girls may live in any house. Because no one can deal with THAT much drama.
  • It is illegal to wear transparent clothing in Providence, Rhode Island. Apparently someone has a problem against Haute Couture…
  • In Hawaii all residents may be fined as a result of not owning a boat. Better start thinking of witty boat names if you plan on retiring here.
  • You may not carry a lunchbox down Main Street in Las Cruces, New Mexico. Sorry kids.
  • In Utah it is illegal NOT to drink milk. But where does that leave the lactose intolerant?
  • It is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose in Alaska. They prefer sparkling water.
  • In South Dakota it is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory. Sleeping is for mattress factories only!
  • All garbage must be cooked before it can be fed to any hogs in Jefferson Parish. Only the best slop for those Louisiana hogs!
  • In the state of Washington no person may walk about in public if he or she has the common cold. Best. Sick day excuse. Ever!
  • It is illegal to cause a catastrophe in Utah. Drama Queens: you've been warned.
  • In Rockville, Maryland it is illegal to remove a public building by writing on it. Everyone knows you have to erase a building to get rid of it.
  • A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it is all used up in Mohave County, Arizona. That's one Zest fully clean criminal!
  • In Wisconsin it is illegal to cut a woman’s hair. They must be HUGE fans of Tangled.
  • It is illegal to fish with a bow and arrow in Kentucky. It's not sportsmanlike.
  • In Connecticut, town records may not be kept where liquor is sold. No drunken law writing!
  • In New Jersey you may not slurp your soup. But what if it's really, really hot?
  • You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. in Florida. So no Mexican food for dinner.
  • For South Carolinians it is unlawful for a minor under the age of eighteen to play a pinball machine. They must not be Tommy fans.
  • In North Carolina it’s against the law to sing off key. So...American Idol has broken this law many, many times over.
  • It is illegal to wear pants that are “firm fitting” around the waist in Lewes, Delaware. They just want you to be able to breathe after a really big meal.
  • In Detroit, willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited. Only video can kill your radio.
  • In Scituate, Rhode Island it is illegal to drive down any street with beer in your car, even if it is unopened. Better put a basket on your ten-speed.
  • A person may not be seen in public without a smile on their face in Pocatello, Idaho. Just remember: Smiles Are Free.
  • In Washington X-rays may not be used to fit shoes. Nuff said.
  • In Tucson, Arizona, women may not wear pants. Do skorts count?
  • In Florida it is considered an offense to shower naked. Score one for the Never Nudes!
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